He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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