I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
