i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
