google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
