Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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