Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
