Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
