you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
