Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dicks are not precious.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
