found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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