That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
