we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
