Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
