i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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