All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
