Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When did angry sex become our thing?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
