I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
