Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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