i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Swine flu is the new snow day.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
