My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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