she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
