don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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