it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
