fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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