Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
