Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
