Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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