After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
