whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
accomplished twins. life is a go
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
