I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
