I want to make a zoo with you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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