apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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