You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
