My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
