Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
