i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we should paint friendship bongs
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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