In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
