would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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