Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
