he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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