Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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