i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
