wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
