Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
