I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
