just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
