its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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