I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize