brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
