I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
