were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think I am morally bankrupt
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
