I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
