She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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