Where is the hickey?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
