I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I cockslap morals
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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